How can I forgive when it hurts so much?

1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not OK. Then, tell a trusted couple of people about your experience.

2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.

3. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning of their action. What you are after is to find peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the “peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story.”

4. Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes – or ten years -ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.

5. At the moment you feel upset practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body’s flight or fight response.

6. Give up expecting things from other people, or your life , that they do not choose to give you. Recognize the “unenforceable rules” you have for your health or how you or other people must behave. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, peace and prosperity and work hard to get them.

7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt seek out new ways to get what you want.

8. Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.

9. Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive

But how can you forgive, if the person is even not asking for forgiveness?  That’s the thing…

Book of Life

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy
5. Make time for prayer
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2008
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day —- and while you walk, smile

Personality:

11. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don’t over do ; keep your limits
14. Don’t take yourself so seriously ; no one else does
15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more
24. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:

25. Call your family often
26. Each day give something good to others
27. Forgive everyone for everything
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day
30. What other people think of you is none of your business
31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

32. Do the right things
33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful
34. GOD heals everything
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
37. The best is yet to come
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

How Does Failures Prepare You for Greatness?

Do you think at this moment you have what it takes to be great? Do you have the strength and wisdom to achieve your dreams now?

Many of us, if we are humble enough, can say to ourselves we are not ready to realize our dreams yet. We don’t have the capacity to handle what we want in life.

We think that success will make us better, and it can. But there is also danger with success; it can bloat our ego or pride. And once our ego gets bloated we have a tendency to be unrealistic. We can over estimate ourselves, which can lead to disaster. Pride can delude us that we are the best when we are not. Pride is an obstacle to really becoming a great person.

Failures on the other hand can teach us humility. Failures can make us realize our weaknesses that we need to overcome. It also forces us to go beyond ourselves. Failures push us to find new ways and strategies in pursuing our goals. Failures taken well, can teach us much wisdom that cannot be found in books or at class.

Failures also toughen us. Imagine you want to fight a champion boxer. Do you think you can go on the ring with him now? You will be massacred I bet. Before you go to the big league you need to be beaten up, toughen up. Your body needs to be hit by strong punches so your muscle would adjust to the blows. Your body needs to be tough if you want to stay in the ring and win the fight. If you fight a champion boxer now, he will take you down in one punch. To be the champ you need to pay the price. No pain, no gain.

Our failures in life can help us prepare for the success that lies ahead. It can give us the wisdom, strength and detachment we need to make the big critical decisions when we are up there at the top.

★ My Dear BFF ★

Looking back through the years,
I can’t believe how long
We have been best friends,
Through good times and bad.

When I needed someone to cry,
With me and laugh together
Give me a shoulder to lean on,
And a hug to make me feel better.

So as time passes and days go by,
Just remember that when you need me
That no matter what,
I will always be there by your side.

POSTED IN FACEBOOK: Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 1:12am